I am always asking God to help me understand to... "Show me the bigger picture".
I don't think I can handle the bigger picture. He knows that because, I think the small piece he is showing me right now feels like more than I can handle sometimes.
I love my life I do. There isn't to much about it (okay nothing actually) that I would change except for perhaps an extra hour or two in my day. But here lately the "EXTRA" has been HARD.
I cried into my pillow about all the "EXTRA".
I know I know... "God never gives us more than we can handle". Or "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it", or a thousand other cliche crazy things we say to someone when we just don't know any other way to help them cope.
I know this is just a season and that things will get calmer and more normal and back to a "reasonable" level.
But I can't help but feel like God is saying to me right now in this season of my life... (I hate that phrase and term "season" but it fits and my brain can't make a better word right now and I have been using it a lot lately sorry) God is saying to me, "Hey what's up? Oh that is a lot I know... lean on me. Let me walk in front of you. Let me carry that." I feel him tugging at my soul, "Shay let it go, let me control that, let me do it..." and I am fighting him and telling him I got it and then my day gets crazy or my week gets hectic or the "EXTRA" starts to overwhelm my world.
God is there he wants me to let it go. He loves me and all of that "EXTRA". God's saying, "Hey What's up? Want some help?" and starting today... my answer? "Yep I sure do. Thanks!"
Momma to 3