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Overwhelmed. Awesome. Amazing. Loud. Crazy. Tired. Busy. Giggles. Laughs. Mess. Laundry. Cooking. Dizzying. Funny. Smiles. Coos. Lessons. Drawings. Cloudy. Snow. Winter. Warm. Love.

A few words to describe the last few weeks. It will be more words later I promise. The new normal is overwhelming and I am processing. More to come :) with pictures even.

Just wanted to remember I can do it. All of it. Even put words to paper. Or keys to screen as it may be.

Hope your world is as full as mine.

Thanks
*Shay B*

There's no place like home...

Okay so I was never the magically enchanted child. I wasn't the make up pretend princess in the castle games growing up. However I did looooove the movie the Wizard of Oz.

Except for the end. *insert shock and awed faces here*

I know, I know. I am sorry. However clicking your heels three times and saying, "There's no place like home". It may work for the movies and most people but for me it made me mad. (Don't believe me ask my mom.)

However, there is some idealistic person inside of me that is hoping and praying that it is just that easy. That it is just that simple.

Realistically? Well let's just say I love being home...but (there is always a but isn't there) it has been a hard adjustment for me. I worked outside of the home for the last almost 2 years. I have felt such guilt over these last two years. I have felt such shame for someone else raising my babies. However it isn't something I can change. Cue two years later and situations unfolding...I am home again. It is rough.

I wish I was all puppies and rainbows. I know I am lucky to be doing this at all. I love being with my kids all day. However... it is rough. It is hard finding my mojo again. It is hard just sitting sometimes for me. It is hard for me to be dealing with ALL of it alone again. I am thankful for it but it is rough.

I won't judge you if you don't judge me. I will never forget how lucky I am to be a mom. I will never be ungrateful for the opportunity to be a stay at home mom again. I really truly love it and there is certainly "No place like home".

But it is rough.

Thanks,
*Shay B*

I am Also a Momma of Boys

I already had a girl. We were doing great with a girl. I could do girl things, tea parties, hair, dollies, finger nail painting, I mean I am a girl I am more likely to be able to raise a girl right? Right.

Well then we had our ultrasound and the tech said It's a boy. Stunned silence from me. And from Josh...well...OVERJOYED comes within 1/10th of the happiness, jubilation, celebration, party that occurred from my overly silent and controlled man. Me not so much. I FREAKED OUT (silently). Yeah that pretty much sums up my feelings as I lay there relieved that other than being a BOY everything was perfect and beautiful and BIG. (The ultrasound tech really likes to hurt a momma's feelings a boy and he is HUGE all in one day I mean give a girl a moment to process okay?)

Seriously for the next couple of months this was my thought process...

I mean come on he has different anatomy, he is gonna pee standing up, he is gonna like GI Joes, video games, burping and all that weird boy stuff...one question danced in my brain for months. How in the world do you be a mom to a boy? How do I teach him to pee (I really had issues with the potty training thing), open doors for ladies, to say excuse me, to be sensitve and caring.

I know I have issues but it was a stretch for this momma. It still is to this day to be honest. However I know am the momma to two beautiful (I am their momma I can call them that you must call them handsome just ask the boy who talks), active, all mine boys.

So as an encouragement to all mommas to boys or about to be mommas to boys....

I LOVE being a momma to boys... Some things I have learned, experienced, cried about and now I LOVE in the course of being a momma to a boy and now 2 boys to be exact.

Reasons being a momma to boys is awesome...

1. Hugs start with running leaps.
2. Saving money on clothes (however I imagine that I will eventually invest this savings into ER visits..I mean really have you met Hudson)
3. Finding new ways to race toy trucks and cars. (I mean really who knew that a plastic (Dinosaur of course) place mat curled up on the table makes toy cars move faster than the speed of light..I mean besides Hudson)
4. Little boys hold their breath while they close their eyes if sissy is changing in the same room as them (every.time.) or is that just Hudson?
5. Creepy crawly bugs are no longer scary when you have to identify every.single.one.by.name.
6. Boys squish those creepy crawly things after you identify them for them...you know if you scream and act really scared and stuff. (Male egos need to be stroked a little even at the age of 3 sadly.)
7. Wrestling matches in the middle of your bed.
8. They wink and say howdy ma'am all while tipping their cowboy hat if they are wearing it (or at least my guy does).
9. Snuggles. 'Nuff said.
10. He wants to save the momma/princess/queen from the evil daddy/king/dragon every time (even if all Daddy is trying to do is give the momma a kiss poor Daddy).

So whether you are the momma to girls (which I am and I love and there will be a separate post soon about those special little things I love too) or the momma to boys. They both are amazing and wonderful special things about all of them.

Me I am just lucky enough to be the momma to both!

*Shay B*

Mondays...

"If every day is a gift then Monday is the ugly sweater your aunt makes for you!" -unknown

I heard this the other day and I almost peed my pants.

I am not a Monday lover. I hate Monday's I loathe them. However it is true that every day that I am alive and breathing is a gift. An opportunity to make my life better than yesterday. A chance to right wrongs and live like noone else.

I want to live like noone else. I want to be that person you see and go man she has it together, she is such a positive person, what an amazing attitude. Guess what? I'm not. Guess what else? Today is that gift and I am going to get it right. It may take until tomorrow though *smile*. Stick around as I try and make the most of each gift I am given in 2010 even if it is a Monday.

Happy Monday.

*Shay B*

Slim Lady?

I was crazy to try to do any dieting before the holidays. Crazy...plain and simple. So it starts tomorrow (again). Melissa and I are hitting the gym. HARD.

I have managed (as of my last weigh-in last monday) to lose 7 pounds. I was at 263 last Monday. My doctor even commented that she was impressed as most people have gained 5-10 pounds by now (I saw her on December 18th) so I am proud to say I hadn't gained.

However I missed the mark on my New Years goal weight of being 250 by December 1st. Which is sad for me. I am hoping to make better progress because as we know the end goal is 200 pounds by September 21, 2010.

After the workout tomorrow and the weigh in I will clue you all in. (You know the three of you.)

Here's to hoping I can kick butt and take names.

I am also hoping to start posting a picture each Monday to have a *look in progress* as well as a blog in progress.

So here it is. What will hopefully the last time you will *see* me at this stage in the game. (Please have mercy on me my case... is that this was at 11:02 in the evening I was in my pajamas, had just gotten finished clipping coupons, no makeup and had been cleaning all day).



*Shay B*