Intentional Calmness?

The little man has ANOTHER double ear infection.

If you haven't been keeping track let me fill you in on why this is such an issue for me. Nolan has had at least 1 ear infection (usually a double ear infection) per month if not 2 per month. Since.He.Got.His.Tubes.

I was a very unhappy (and saddened) momma this morning when I sat up holding my little man for 3 hours so he would not scream. We went to the pediatrician today got antibiotics (which I am tired of giving to my son he has to be building an immunity to them by now) and had a battle of will with myself. I wanted to shout and scream and be angry and holler. I am soooooo tired of it. There has to be something that can fix this. He can't keep continuing to have an ear infection (sometimes 2) a month for the rest of his life.

So I CALMLY (willing myself with every fiber of my being) had a conversation with my pediatrician today. They are culturing the yucky that was in his ear and sending it to his ENT. I called him today and scheduled an appointment. I believe my exact words were... we get in this week or we will seek out a different ENT. Calmly stated but I intended on carrying out every word I had spoken. We see him on Friday.

I am also calling a chiropractor that a friend recommended to me tomorrow. I am going to take him to see her. My friend has discussed Nolan with her before and she thinks she may be able to do some good for him. I am a little nervous. It is out of my realm of comfortable and I am praying about that as well.

So I will be intentionally praying for wisdom for the doctors. For answers for myself so I can... I am not sure but I just hate not knowing. Also for relief for my boy it really has become to much for him. It breaks my heart every time he is hurting like this. Not to mention it has started to affect what hearing he does have. Which is NOT okay.

Thankfully he is such a trooper he really does smile and laugh and you would never know how much he is hurting. He has such an amazing spirit. I love his face. I love his heart. I love his smile... right now though I am having a very very hard time loving his ears.

With all of that I am trying to remind myself of a few things...
1. We have a doctor who loves our boy.
2. We have access to health care many do not. I truly am thankful to be able to seek out answers and medical attention to help him.
3. I have friends who love my boy. Who are helping me try to find relief and answers.
4. I am not in control God is. Even if it makes absolutely no sense to me? It does to him and there is a purpose for all things... even this.

Momma to 3
*Shay B*

We briefly interrupt...

We briefly interrupt this clear the clutter challenge to bring to you.... well anything besides cleaning (although those pictures will be taken tonight and posted I promise)!

That is right ladies and well ladies... cause well lets be honest here no gentlemen read this blog.

Today was full of appointments for the kids. We had an appointment to look into head start preschool for him. Keeping our options open. I still would like to look into homeschooling some more but I also want to make sure that I can enroll them if we so choose.

Then we went to look into a weatherization program for our house. Since I have quit work it has given us some options for some programs we were not previously qualifying for. This weatherization program will help us update our windows and our front door (at least!) at a fraction of the cost normally. Which is nice because even when I was working our budget wasn't big enough to warrant the costs. Which will then help us keep our energy bills lower too.

After that we grabbed some lunch at Burger King (I know healthy right but it sure was delicious and the kids were happy for the treat) and a stop at a friends house with a nice backyard to play in and eat.

Then we had to move it to SJID (St. Joseph's Institute for the Deaf) to pick up his new ear molds and have some hearing tests done. The molds fit amazingly and the hearing aids are back in working order as well.

Then we attempted a hearing test with my two bigger small people there as well. It was a little crazy but we did manage to get one ear tested (only with hearing aids today no without) and they are pleased with the amount of sound he is hearing and responding too. It is hard to test the exact level of hearing a baby has due to the fact that they just can't tell you and they still move and wiggle and get distracted when they should be listening. So we will be having several hearing tests over the next few months. As a matter of fact the next one will be May 5th. So anyone want to babysit so the two bigger small people don't have to attend?

So all in all a great day!

Sincerely,
Momma to 3
*Shay B*

P.S. These pictures have absolutely nothing to do with this post. It is my blog and well I can do what I wanna right ;)

Nolan likes to make things interesting...

So I have deleted probably 14 sentences just trying to start this post.

It is more difficult to figure out how to begin to tell the story then it is to actually just tell it.

Nolan (our youngest) was officially, as of December 3rd, 2009, diagnosed as hearing impaired. As of right now he is considered moderately deaf in both ears with a permanent loss.

There are so many things we are still learning in this process and it has been a little hard. We knew that something was wrong but we weren't expecting the wrongness to be to this extent.

Nolan has never passed a hearing test. From the three newborn tests he had in the hospital, to the one we returned for Nolan to take at 2 weeks old, to the 3 hours of testing we had done at Children's Hospital on Thursday.

Now to clarify and help those of you wondering what all that means (at least to the best of my ability as of right now). Nolan can hear to some extent. He doesn't hear speech, or whispers or birds, he doesn't hear Leanna and Hudson or even Josh and I. The sound of our dog barking or a lawn mower sounds like what we hear when the wind blows through the leaves on the trees.

He will wear hearing aids. They will continue to monitor him to make sure this isn't a progressive loss (meaning it might get worse but they won't know until it happens). Since it is a sensory nerve issue that may be the case or it may not.

We had meeting tonight with a service coordinator from a program called 1st Steps. It is a program that offers early intervention services to help with what could potentially be a learning/physical/speech delay of any sort. I didn't know this program existed until we found out about Nolan. They will do in home therapy until he is 3 and then they will help set him up with the school district at that point.

They do not know why or how this has happened. It could be genetic, a birth defect, a fluke or it could just be that God decided Nolan didn't need to hear everything the same way as we do. For Josh and I everything has a purpose. There is a reason Nolan is ours. There is a reason Nolan's ears don't work the way ours do (that is the way we are explaining it to Leanna and Hudson right now). While this is difficult and Josh and I are still processing and dealing with it we are dealing with it. Nolan is just as happy as ever and for that we are grateful. For Nolan we are grateful.

So for now that is that.

There is still so much that we have to learn and figure out so be patient with us as we do just that.

Thanks and Love,
*Shay B*