Meeting #1

So in about 8.2 hours I am going to meet with a group of people most of which I have never met before and begin discussing what will be the best options for my smallest boy. I have no idea what we will discuss if anything in this meeting. I am just praying for wisdom and peace regardless of what is discussed or decided.

I love that sweet boy with all that I am. I want absolutely everything in the world for him. The best we can do for him always. So it begins another new journey into another realm of the unknown. This past 2 years have been some of the most eventful and fun and crazy and confusing of my life. But I like to think we have come out on a better side. God knew exactly what he was doing when he gave Nolan to me. To us.

On to bigger and better things. Or at least the start of them.

Because it has been a minute...

Nolan is getting so big so fast. I often forget he isn't going to be a 'baby' anymore. It makes me sad.

He is 10 months old now. HUGE. Some fun things he is doing now:

- he finally has a tooth in his head and a whole mouthful full of puffiness and "white buds"

- he is pulling up and cruising furniture even

- he is saying "dada" even if it isn't at him

- he is eating tons more solid foods now (even with his only ONE tooth)

- he is pulling his hearing aids off even if he is wearing his hat

- he smiles and laughs and is just starting to imitate people.

There is still really no language development. He squeals and yells and cries but we are working on it. He is trying!

Speech therapy is going well. It sometimes all feels so tedious and for nothing. I know it isn't but sometimes it feels that way. I try not to give into the feelings of frustration. I have to remind myself to slow down and that this will take time, hard work, determination and well faith. I have to remind myself that God decided Nolan could handle this and as his momma apparently he decided so could I.

I love his little laugh and the gleam of mischievousness he gets in his eyes. He has an AMAZING smile. Everyone loves him. He is a pretty special little guy. I sure am thankful for him. Even if sometimes I want to toss him out of the window (you know after he has screamed for 20 minutes straight out of frustration or after the 60th time I have had to tell him to leave his hat or hearing aids alone). All in all I wouldn't trade him though.

Momma to 3
*Shay B*

We briefly interrupt...

We briefly interrupt this clear the clutter challenge to bring to you.... well anything besides cleaning (although those pictures will be taken tonight and posted I promise)!

That is right ladies and well ladies... cause well lets be honest here no gentlemen read this blog.

Today was full of appointments for the kids. We had an appointment to look into head start preschool for him. Keeping our options open. I still would like to look into homeschooling some more but I also want to make sure that I can enroll them if we so choose.

Then we went to look into a weatherization program for our house. Since I have quit work it has given us some options for some programs we were not previously qualifying for. This weatherization program will help us update our windows and our front door (at least!) at a fraction of the cost normally. Which is nice because even when I was working our budget wasn't big enough to warrant the costs. Which will then help us keep our energy bills lower too.

After that we grabbed some lunch at Burger King (I know healthy right but it sure was delicious and the kids were happy for the treat) and a stop at a friends house with a nice backyard to play in and eat.

Then we had to move it to SJID (St. Joseph's Institute for the Deaf) to pick up his new ear molds and have some hearing tests done. The molds fit amazingly and the hearing aids are back in working order as well.

Then we attempted a hearing test with my two bigger small people there as well. It was a little crazy but we did manage to get one ear tested (only with hearing aids today no without) and they are pleased with the amount of sound he is hearing and responding too. It is hard to test the exact level of hearing a baby has due to the fact that they just can't tell you and they still move and wiggle and get distracted when they should be listening. So we will be having several hearing tests over the next few months. As a matter of fact the next one will be May 5th. So anyone want to babysit so the two bigger small people don't have to attend?

So all in all a great day!

Sincerely,
Momma to 3
*Shay B*

P.S. These pictures have absolutely nothing to do with this post. It is my blog and well I can do what I wanna right ;)

Holland instead of Italy? Sure why not...

I have been reading ALOT lately. Books on parenting, books on living, books on schedules (see previous post), books on children, books on hearing impairment and on disabilities.

'Cause while I don't see Nolan as disabled the world does... The school district does, his audiologist does, the kids do, my parents do hell the whole family does. They may not say it that way (or they just may) and they may not want to discuss it with me (which hurts almost as bad) but they do. It is a fine line to walk and I am crossing back and forth on a daily basis... I read this the other day and I had to share it. It pretty much sums up alot of the way I am feeling here lately.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability — to try to help people who have not shared the unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this …
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip — to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. Michelangelo’s “David.” The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. You must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.


I think the passage speaks for itself. I'm not missing out on Holland but I want people to realize that Italy just isn't going to happen. No matter how badly I want it to.

Keepin' It Real,
*Shay B*