Intentional Calmness?

The little man has ANOTHER double ear infection.

If you haven't been keeping track let me fill you in on why this is such an issue for me. Nolan has had at least 1 ear infection (usually a double ear infection) per month if not 2 per month. Since.He.Got.His.Tubes.

I was a very unhappy (and saddened) momma this morning when I sat up holding my little man for 3 hours so he would not scream. We went to the pediatrician today got antibiotics (which I am tired of giving to my son he has to be building an immunity to them by now) and had a battle of will with myself. I wanted to shout and scream and be angry and holler. I am soooooo tired of it. There has to be something that can fix this. He can't keep continuing to have an ear infection (sometimes 2) a month for the rest of his life.

So I CALMLY (willing myself with every fiber of my being) had a conversation with my pediatrician today. They are culturing the yucky that was in his ear and sending it to his ENT. I called him today and scheduled an appointment. I believe my exact words were... we get in this week or we will seek out a different ENT. Calmly stated but I intended on carrying out every word I had spoken. We see him on Friday.

I am also calling a chiropractor that a friend recommended to me tomorrow. I am going to take him to see her. My friend has discussed Nolan with her before and she thinks she may be able to do some good for him. I am a little nervous. It is out of my realm of comfortable and I am praying about that as well.

So I will be intentionally praying for wisdom for the doctors. For answers for myself so I can... I am not sure but I just hate not knowing. Also for relief for my boy it really has become to much for him. It breaks my heart every time he is hurting like this. Not to mention it has started to affect what hearing he does have. Which is NOT okay.

Thankfully he is such a trooper he really does smile and laugh and you would never know how much he is hurting. He has such an amazing spirit. I love his face. I love his heart. I love his smile... right now though I am having a very very hard time loving his ears.

With all of that I am trying to remind myself of a few things...
1. We have a doctor who loves our boy.
2. We have access to health care many do not. I truly am thankful to be able to seek out answers and medical attention to help him.
3. I have friends who love my boy. Who are helping me try to find relief and answers.
4. I am not in control God is. Even if it makes absolutely no sense to me? It does to him and there is a purpose for all things... even this.

Momma to 3
*Shay B*

Day 5... Insurance

I am so thankful for insurance. It isn't fun to deal with or easy to deal with at all. However, without it our medical bills would be MORE than what they are and that in itself is something to be thankful for!!!

Nolan has a lot more medical issues than most. And after his doctor's appointments yesterday I am just thankful that while his hearing issues aren't being covered by insurance I am thankful the other stuff is being MOSTLY covered by insurance.

So today I am thankful for insurance. In regards to this I am also thankful we survived the three appointments yesterday. (Hence the short post today sorry I am wiped out.)

Momma to 3
*Shay B*

Nolan likes to make things interesting...

So I have deleted probably 14 sentences just trying to start this post.

It is more difficult to figure out how to begin to tell the story then it is to actually just tell it.

Nolan (our youngest) was officially, as of December 3rd, 2009, diagnosed as hearing impaired. As of right now he is considered moderately deaf in both ears with a permanent loss.

There are so many things we are still learning in this process and it has been a little hard. We knew that something was wrong but we weren't expecting the wrongness to be to this extent.

Nolan has never passed a hearing test. From the three newborn tests he had in the hospital, to the one we returned for Nolan to take at 2 weeks old, to the 3 hours of testing we had done at Children's Hospital on Thursday.

Now to clarify and help those of you wondering what all that means (at least to the best of my ability as of right now). Nolan can hear to some extent. He doesn't hear speech, or whispers or birds, he doesn't hear Leanna and Hudson or even Josh and I. The sound of our dog barking or a lawn mower sounds like what we hear when the wind blows through the leaves on the trees.

He will wear hearing aids. They will continue to monitor him to make sure this isn't a progressive loss (meaning it might get worse but they won't know until it happens). Since it is a sensory nerve issue that may be the case or it may not.

We had meeting tonight with a service coordinator from a program called 1st Steps. It is a program that offers early intervention services to help with what could potentially be a learning/physical/speech delay of any sort. I didn't know this program existed until we found out about Nolan. They will do in home therapy until he is 3 and then they will help set him up with the school district at that point.

They do not know why or how this has happened. It could be genetic, a birth defect, a fluke or it could just be that God decided Nolan didn't need to hear everything the same way as we do. For Josh and I everything has a purpose. There is a reason Nolan is ours. There is a reason Nolan's ears don't work the way ours do (that is the way we are explaining it to Leanna and Hudson right now). While this is difficult and Josh and I are still processing and dealing with it we are dealing with it. Nolan is just as happy as ever and for that we are grateful. For Nolan we are grateful.

So for now that is that.

There is still so much that we have to learn and figure out so be patient with us as we do just that.

Thanks and Love,
*Shay B*

TYGF

Good morning to the two or three people who read my blog.
Today is Friday so that means... TYGF...Thank you God for...

The ongoing post that happens every Friday. To list off something that I am thankful for (please feel free to join me and let me know what you are thanking God for).

So today's post is an interesting one.
Thank you God for....

STUBBORNNESS.

Now why would Shay be thankful for that you say?
Well because I am please to announce to the blog world (my few but magnificent readers) that Josh and Shay Brewer have not purchased cigarettes in a week.

Josh is having some struggles but he is working very hard on quitting as well. So if you think of him say a few prayers for him please!

Now Shay hasn't smoked in 5 days. Due to sheer stubbornness and because I refused to look like I was a liar again. I know that I have said several times that I was quitting. I never followed through. My will power was no good. My stubbornness was not up to par for the course so to speak.

I wanted to do this for several reasons. One I have determined I don't ever want my children to do it. Two, I don't want to waste the money doing it anymore. Three, I want my husband and I to be healthier and around for a long time. Four, I want to be an example to the rest of my family (there are several that smoke) that if we can do it so can they. Finally, I want to make sure that everything I am doing is honoring and pleasing to God.

So this week I prayed for Stubbornness. Not patience or peace or to take the want away no for sheer will power and stubbornness. It hasn't been easy and it sure is easy to fall to the temptation when I see someone else or smell it somewhere. So stubbornness is what I needed for this.

So I am thankful for Stubbornness! What are you thankful for this week?

Reasons....

So hello again everybody! Sorry it has been so long since I last posted. I have unfortunately been in the hospital. So without further ado let me explain.

I got sick on Saturday (the night after I hung out with my girlfriends) really sick fever, sore throat and fatigue. I haven't been sick like that in a long while. So on Monday I went to the doctor. Doc Johnson originally thought I had mono or strep. Which was bad enough in itself. She told me to stay home on Tuesday as well.

So I went back to work on Wednesday. All was fine until I got this headache like you wouldn't believe. Well Doc J told me that with mono headaches were possible. So I called her back like she told me too and left a message to get the headache medicine prescription called in. (She hadn't yet because I hadn't had any headaches and I generally just don't like taking medicine if I don't have too). She called me back on my way home to pick up the kids and told me that it wasn't mono or strep and that all the test had come back and that I needed to go to the emergency room immediately because they thought it might be something more serious.

Needless to say it was. After a long night in the ER (and ridiculous amounts of needle sticks more on that in a minute) they discovered I had meningitis. Which is a big long word for very sick stuff.

I was in the hospital for 4 days. Missed my sister-in-laws wedding and missed seeing my babies boogie at the reception. However I did receive an award from the nurses. Most needle sticks in the shortest stay in almost a year for the 7th floor! Isn't that exciting (pay no attention to the sarcasm that is dripping from those words). I am feeling slightly better now. I have a backache monster from the spinal tap and I get tired extremely easy but I am an not dead and no one has to worry because it was viral which means not contagious.

However some prayers for my arm (see pictures below and remember these were taken today which makes those markings and bruises a week old) would be lovely. I apparently have crappy weak veins (the award given explains that) and the medicine they were giving me through the IV apparently ruptured my veins (one IV I had for less than 3 hours) and some of the medicine made it's way into my muscle tissue causing a separation of the muscles. It is incredibly medical and disgusting to look at but more importantly it means no lifting for the next week or so. Which all of my mommy friends know is hard to do when you have little ones at home.



So for those that already knew of this and were praying for me! Thank you so much and for those that didn't thanks for reading and for your prayers for my arm now.

Much love
*Shay*